


Insomnia

by RuvikKin



Series: Polyamorous TEW [8]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Drinking, First Kiss, Hm i am not sure how to tag this one, I guess? tagging for that just in case, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violent Thoughts, of some sort at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuvikKin/pseuds/RuvikKin
Summary: “What are you doing?”“I couldn’t sleep.”“You never can. Why are you drinking, and where did you get a bottle?”“Was in the mini fridge.” Joseph stood up, holding up a half empty beer bottle. “Though I’m not drunk. Most of it is on my shirt now anyway. Helps me sleep sometimes.”
Relationships: Joseph Oda/Ruben "Ruvik" Victoriano
Series: Polyamorous TEW [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1214808
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> This one takes place a year and a half after the fic "Saving You." And of course before everything else in the series.

Joseph leaned on the hood of his car, puffing on his cigarette with long slow drags, blowing out large clouds of smoke into the air to watch it rise up into the air. He was parked outside of a gas station, looking inside he saw Ruvik standing at the counter paying for the few items he was picking up for them. Joseph took the cigarette from between his lips and threw it to the ground, stomping it out as Ruvik exited the station. Joseph smiled at him, getting back into the drivers side of the car while Ruvik tossed the bag of stuff into the backseat, aside from two waters, and moved over to sit in the passengers seat.

Once Ruvik was in the car and settled Joseph pulled out of the parking spot, driving out of the area and back out onto the road. Ruvik reached out and turned the radio on, turning the dial until something the two of them liked came on so they could settle into a comfortable drive once again.

It had been a year and a half since the two had met up, being on the road since, sleeping in motel to motel and affording what they could with the money that Kidman seemed to send- out of thin air. Joseph wondered how she always seemed to know where they were, but he was scared of the answer more than curious of it, so he didn’t ask any questions.

Both of the men had changed their appearances once again, Joseph had his hair grown out long and pulled back into a ponytail, a stubble across his face that he complained about, and he’d colored it to a light brown rather than the jet black it usually was. Ruvik hadn’t been too happy about changing his hair all the time, he complained and said he liked not having it better, but Joseph was kind enough and gave him an undercut, coloring his hair a natural red color. He’d almost talked Ruvik into wearing glasses until the man had swatted at him and told him glasses were Josephs thing. Joseph kept his grandfathers glasses close, just as always, but for now he was dealing with a pair that he wasn’t used to.

The two drove for a bit until Joseph was yawning, letting out a grumble as he rubbed his eyes. “Pull over if you’re tired.”

“Let me find a motel. Wheres the nearest one?” Ruvik grabbed the GPS they had, searching it up.

“Two miles.”   
“Great. I’ll be fine until then.” Ruvik nodded and tapped the directions so the GPS would speak them out, setting it down between the two of them. Joseph let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes again. “Stupid glasses.”   
“I thought you’d get used to them, you already wear a pair.”   
“Thats different. The shape of them is different, they’re smaller and I feel like I’m looking through a fish tank.” Ruvik snorted at the statement, rolling his eyes. “Do you want to wear them?”

“I think you should keep them on, so you can see where we’re going.” Joseph didn’t respond, just shook his head slowly and kept his hands on the steering wheel.

Within a few minutes the two arrived at the motel, Joseph parking the car away from the entrance- like he normally did- before they got out. “Let me go make sure they have a room, stay here.” Joseph didn’t wait for Ruvik to reply before he was already fast walking towards the entrance. Ruvik took the time to grab a few of their things and stuff it into a bag. His own wallet he’d bought, some of their food and drinks, and clothes of course.

A few minutes passed and Joseph whistled for Ruvik to rush up, which he did with two of the bags he stuffed together slung over his shoulder. “One bed, and a pullout couch.” Joseph stated, handing Ruvik one of the room keys as they head into the building. “Second floor, lets just take the stairs.” Joseph took one of the bags from Ruvik and hooked it under his arm, leading Ruvik to the stairs.

“You took the bed last time, I’ll take it tonight.”

“Fine by me.” Joseph said as they walked up the steps. One flight wasn’t anything awful but Joseph was tripping over his own feet from just walking. He cursed under his breath as he tripped, taking the last few steps quickly while Ruvik followed behind him. They made their way to the room, struggling with the door just for a second before heading inside.

The room was nice, thankfully, and didn’t smell like anything funny this time. Ruvik set his bag down by the edge of the bed, laying back on it while Joseph got the couch made up for himself. He checked the time- 1am.

“Did you want to shower?” Joseph asked.

“No. Did you?”   
“Yeah. Just feel gross.” Joseph got the couch set up and he grabbed his bag. “Get some sleep.”

“Of course.” Ruvik muttered, sitting up to take his shoes off while Joseph head into the bathroom. Ruvik pulled off his jacket, getting up to hang it before he laid back down on the bed. He closed his eyes, letting out a small sigh before he drifted off to sleep.

`

`

`

A clattering startled Ruvik awake, making him sit up in the bed and quickly turn a light on. He was met with the sight of Joseph, sitting on the floor next to the bed he’d spent time pulling out, wiping something off his shirt. Ruvik checked the time, 3am. With a groan he rubbed his eyes, getting out of bed to head to Joseph. He could smell the alcohol and he rolled his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“You never can. Why are you drinking, and where did you get a bottle?”   
“Was in the mini fridge.” Joseph stood up, holding up a half empty beer bottle. “Though I’m not drunk. Most of it is on my shirt now anyway. Helps me sleep sometimes.” Joseph handed the bottle to Ruvik, removing his shirt to toss it on the floor, digging around in his bag to pull out a different one. “I need to get laundry done tomorrow anyway.”   
“It is tomorrow.” Joseph paused, shrugging as he pulled the fresh shirt on. Ruvik placed the bottle of beer on a side table, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I think I’ll take a walk, sorry for waking you up.”

“I’ll come with you.” Joseph gave Ruvik a look with his brows pinched together. “I don’t want to be alone in a place we don’t know.” Ruvik walked over to his jacket to grab it, making sure his wallet was in the pocket before he head to the door. Joseph just watched him for a moment but finally moved, taking his offer of joining him on a walk.

They took the stairs down to the main floor, walking past the front desk and out the front door. Ruvik stayed behind Joseph as they walked, staring down at the ground as he watched dead leaves flutter by in the wind. “You know your way around here?”

“Not at all, but when we were driving in I saw some interesting places, come on.” Joseph walked a little faster with Ruvik hot on his trail. He head down a street, looking around and making mental notes of where they are so they wouldn’t get lost on the way back to the motel. Joseph led him down a back road to their destination, making Ruvik scrunch up his nose.   
“Train tracks?”   
“Yeah, of course.” Joseph walked over to the barrier between the train tracks and the sidewalk, leaning on it.

“If this is your idea of an interesting place, I dread to see what you consider boring.” Joseph chuckled, jumping over the barrier.

“When I was a kid my grandfather used to take me walking on the train tracks.” Ruvik nodded, climbing over the barrier- but staying close to it while Joseph stepped onto the rail and balanced on it. “We’d go on walks on them, and then when we got tired we’d find a stop and wait until a train showed up and we’d take it back.”

“Sounds like such fun.” Ruvik said, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. “Well, I’m not walking on train tracks until I’m exhausted, so you can cut that out of your night of fun.” Joseph shrugged, pacing on the tracks with Ruvik watching him closely.

Joseph walked up and down the tracks, keeping himself balanced on the rails while Ruvik leaned on the barrier, his arms crossed over his chest as a breeze blew by. He was growing tired again, letting out a yawn before he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Some part of him felt happy when he heard a train starting to approach. “Alright, come on Joseph.” Ruvik looked at Joseph, seeing the man not moving from his spot on the tracks. “Joseph?”

“It’s alright.” Joseph said, keeping his feet firmly planted on the tracks. The train was coming around the corner and Ruvik felt the rumbling under his feet.

“Get over here, Joseph.” Ruvik spoke a little louder, looking over at where the train was before he looked back to Joseph. “Stop-”

“You think he’ll stop?”

“No he won’t now get over here!” Ruvik took a step forwards, glancing at the train that was coming towards Joseph. “Joseph!”

Joseph grinned, taking in a deep breath before he let out a scream as the train got closer. Ruvik took a last look between Joseph and the train, and moved fast. Pushing off of the barrier to run at Joseph, tackling him out of the way of the train just as it passed by, the two of them collapsing onto the side of the tracks and onto the hard earth. Joseph breathed hard in his ear, his arms moving to wrap around Ruvik, and Ruvik could feel him trembling slightly.

The train finally passed, allowing a silence to come over the two of them. Ruvik sat up slightly, looking down at Josephs face, the glasses that were on his face were gone, probably knocked onto the tracks, or they flew off into the dirt.. “I’m sorry.” Joseph muttered, sitting up on his arms. He reached up and rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Why did you just stand there?” Joseph shrugged. “That train would have hit you.”

“I know.” Ruvik scrunched his nose. “You’ve been in my head.”   
“Technically-”   
“Don’t start.” Joseph said, lying back down on the ground. “I know  _ technically  _ I was in yours, you’ve told me that before. But you know me.” Ruvik raised his brow, keeping his mouth shut. “You were in my head, you know all about me. More about me than even Sebastian knew.” Joseph rubbed the back of his head, letting out a sigh. “You know, if you had let me lie there and bleed out when Kidman shot me, I would’ve been fine with it.”

“I know…” The words felt uncomfortable, but they were true. “You would’ve shot yourself if Sebastian hadn’t stopped you. Or let yourself get your head chopped off.”

“Do you know why?” Joseph looked up at Ruvik, who shook his head in response to the question. “Really?”   
“I never understood that. The feeling of wanting death.” Ruvik looked at his hands, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I came so close to dying when I was young, and in a way I suppose I did. My body was… It wasn’t a body anymore, it was more a vessel than anything to me. A prison I couldn’t escape.” Ruvik rubbed his hands together uncomfortably, looking down at Joseph. “Moved from one prison to the next, one of my own creation. They ripped me apart, took from me all they needed. I never wanted any of that.”

“Yeah?” Joseph asked, Ruvik nodded.

“All I wanted to do was get out. This body I’m in now-” Ruvik gently placed his hands on his chest, looking down at himself. “This is the first time I’ve felt at home in a body.”

“And its not even your own body.”

“Is it as much mine now as yours is your own.” Joseph hummed. “With this body I feel things I never felt before. In my own things were numb. Sometimes they would hurt. I couldn’t shower, I’d have to wrap myself after I bathed so I wouldn’t feel like needles dug into my skin. Everything would be a constant state pain, numbness, there wasn’t anything else.”

“Never anything nice? No favorite sweater you’d wear sometimes?”   
“No. Clothes hurt, shirts especially. My chest was the worst place for me, down to my hips. It hurt.” Joseph sat up slightly again, looking at Ruvik. “I died, a long time ago. Being reborn, getting this body… I couldn’t imagine wanting to die when I have what I craved.”

“But when you were in your… Your original body, you could imagine dying. Couldn’t you?” Ruvik pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Thats why you, well.” Joseph tapped the side of his head. “What was there for you to lose if chopping open your own head killed you? You say you don’t understand what I feel, what its like to want to die, but I think you understand far more than you want to admit.” Ruvik took in a deep breath through his nose, clenching his fists.

“Well, then tell me, why do you want to be hit by a train so badly? You have nothing happening to you like I did. Your life was picture perfect, you had a-”

“Don’t.” Joseph cut him off quickly. “My life was never perfect. You were in my head, Ruvik. You saw my life, you knew my feelings.”

“Was this all over Sebastian?” Joseph clenched his fist, giving Ruvik all the answer he needed. “You love him. Couldn’t have him, you’re twisted Joseph.” Ruvik smirked, leaning in to Joseph close. “If you couldn’t have him, you didn’t want to see anyone else have him, is that it?”

“It wasn’t just-” Joseph dug his fingers into the ground. “It wasn’t like that. Not always. You, your stupid machine, your feelings, they twisted me up. They made me feel everything I had felt but worse, like- like-” Joseph stumbled as he tried to find the words, shaking his head in frustration. “I love him, and something when I was in there, with you, twisted it. Made it sick. I just wanted him to show something for me, when he tackled me onto the ground I’d never felt happier. He cared.” Ruvik smirked and Joseph gave him a light slap on the chest. “Don’t act so happy about it, you sicko.” Joseph smiled slightly at him. “But, I did feel something then. I felt something now.”

“Good, now-”

“What about you?” Joseph asked. “Do you want to feel?”

“What do you mean?” Ruvik narrowed his eyes, making the other man shrug.

“Something you never felt before.” Joseph reached up slowly, placing a hand on Ruviks shoulder. The man didn’t move to pull away, he stayed still.

“You don’t know what I haven’t felt before.”

“I can take a guess.” Joseph leaned forwards, slowly until his face was close to Ruviks, his heart beat in his chest. Joseph moved, pressing their lips together, his eyes falling closed. Ruvik closed his eyes as well, clenching his hands into fists- unsure what to do. Josephs hand moved from Ruviks shoulder, up to his neck and to his jaw to cup his cheek. The kiss was sweet and gentle, soft, something that made Ruviks heart pound in his chest and made his face flush as it went on.

Joseph broke the kiss slowly, Ruvik blinking his eyes open to look at Joseph, who was smirking at him. He felt the heat rise to his face and turned away, fiddling his hands together. “Was I right?”

“You were.” Ruvik muttered. Joseph sat up fully, taking one of Ruviks hands in his own, the two of them locking eyes now.

“Can I do it again?” Ruvik nodded slightly, Joseph moving to press their lips together once more. Just as gentle as before, soft touches as Joseph locked his fingers with Ruviks, his other hand moving to gently rub the back of Ruviks head, his fingers rubbing slightly against the shaved hair. Ruvik clenched his eyes, his free hand going to Josephs chest, feeling how the other mans heart was beating in his chest as well.

The kiss lasted longer than the first one, Ruvik pulling away after moments so he could catch his breath. He bit the inside of his lip, clearing his throat before he pulled away further from Joseph. “We should go back to the room. Before another train shows up.”

“Right, I don’t think the grass out here is all that comfortable anyway.” Ruvik stood up first, followed by Joseph. “Where’d my glasses go?” Joseph looked around, squinting at the ground. Ruvik head to the train tracks and shook his head, grabbing a pair of destroyed lenses off the rail. “Well, thank god they were just the spare ones.”

“You be more careful next time.” Ruvik smiled, handing the broken lenses to Joseph so he could stuff them into his pocket. Together they made their way back over the barrier and onto the sidewalk.. Once over Joseph turned to Ruvik, holding his hand out to him. Ruvik stared at his hand, wondering what Joseph held his hand out for before it clicked and he felt another flush on his cheeks.

Ruvik took Josephs hand in his own, the two walking back to the motel with their hands grasped tight.


End file.
